Midtown neighborhood reluctantly displays holiday lights

The Swan Lake Neighborhood Association has decided to create a holiday lights display this year.

As large neighborhood light displays have become popular over the last 20 years, Swan Lake has maintained a “we’re above it” policy towards these “energy draining, tacky public spectacles”, according to association President, Brad Snooty.

In September, at the monthly association meeting, Brenda Chase, the vice president, made a sarcastic motion to create a holiday lights display this year.  Everyone enjoyed a good laugh.

But, after the meeting was adjourned, the group was socializing over a bowl of hummus and pita chips, when Paul Mull, the longtime resident and tenured University of Tulsa philosophy professor, began to debate that Swan Lake was a public spectacle, no less than a lights display.

After a few hours of heated discussion, everyone had decided that a lights display was a moral imperative.  “We don’t really want a bunch of cars driving through our neighborhood.  But we aren’t any better than any of the other neighborhoods that like that.  So…” said Crystal Wells, as she paused to set up a large inflatable Santa Claus snow globe.  “yeah.  I’m just going to get this over with.”

Brad Snooty has created an impressive display that syncs up to music on a radio station.  “Once I grieved that our neighborhood has been nothing but pandering to the public for attention with our swans, I felt a freedom that I haven’t felt since the Summer of ’72.”

Paul Mull has offered up himself, “I am the display.”  He will sit on his lawn every evening and read a book or do Tai Chi.  “I’m volunteering to do this because I believe in solidarity.  There is no principle to support this action as an imperative.  However, since all decisions are inherently based on faith, the decision to celebrate solidarity with all of mankind in needless displays of spectacle is, in and of itself, a celebration of faith.  Therefore, a holiday display would be appropriate and keeping with our established values.”

Brenda has created a light display of crying swans in chains.  “This is who we really are!   Come look at us!  Our shame is on full display!”  Asked if she was going to release the swans in the lake, Brenda said, “Well, they’re happy.  I’m not sure.  But we like them. …I’m confused.”

The Swan Lake Neighborhood Association will keep their lights displays available for public viewing until they feel they have adequately performed their moral obligation to the people of Tulsa.